drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
