White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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