Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
