No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
