I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
