i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
