So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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