I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
