Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
