She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
