she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
