He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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