i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I could have mohawked her pubes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
