She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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