i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize