And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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