I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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