did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
A+ Viking dick
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
