I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
