"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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