Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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