He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
