If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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