I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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