Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
