Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
