If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
