it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
