ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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