we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
