pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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