You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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