so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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