I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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