I hope mine doesn't look like that
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
