so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
