No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So much rum. So many feels.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
