i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
