dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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