She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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