11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
