who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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