Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
