Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
