Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Too much gin, very little bucket
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
