Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
