I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Randomize
