Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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