in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
