hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
