Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
